when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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