Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
false alarm. still invincible.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
