He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
