I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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