I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
