Non-Jews are for practice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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