The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
