wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Randomize
