She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its liver damage thursday
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
