Say something about gay babies.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
