We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
