I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
