So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
