FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You pole danced in your parka.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Holy shit dude........stairs
This toilet bowl is my home.
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