Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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