she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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