Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
