the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
