I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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