youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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