yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
