he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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