I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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