This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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