you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
