If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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