The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
