Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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