i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
