Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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