it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
