I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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