i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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