Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
