just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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