Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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