I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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