Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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