The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
