It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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