she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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