Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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