Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
