break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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