the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
