if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
