Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
