shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
