youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
