Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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